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Personally am hungry for wisdom from others on dealing with life’s midpoint hurdles, such as deep inner questions, fading relevance, growing a neck resembling a melted timepiece plus a fresh interest about property shows. Most recently, I came across Jamie Oliver’s words regarding his fiftieth birthday during a chat: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Can you relate deeply to pessimistic characters; has an intuitive ever described your energy as dull?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.